Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Welsh Tony and the Incarna 'Khumaak' Thief

Welsh Tony is an odd fellow; although he's been affiliated with the Freebooters for years, he rarely undocks and all he ever does is hang around on station taking 'private walks' with any livestock we leave laying around in the hangar.
With the publication of this devblog, it seemed Welsh Tony's life was about to get a lot more interesting. These exclusive shots show Welsh Tony publicly stepping out of his pod for the first time.

Unfortunately, on arrival in his chamber, his wardrobe was strangely missing. Either this was one of Long Jack's pranks or the place had been turned over. It's not bloody surprising, given that there doesn't seem to be a way to close the balcony door. Anyone with a grappling hook, rope ladder or jet-pack could've got in.

 "By all that is Holy, the bastards have stolen my 'Khumaak'! Must've been a problem with the cloning vats, honest. My life is over, even the hotel porn has blown me out - I'll give you 'No relevant Sov data', ya picky bitch."

"That's it, I'm outta here. I don't need clothes or genitals, it'll just be me and my spaceship. I hope it's got a toilet on board - I've been busting for days but for some reason, nothing's moving."

"Unbelievable, they found the keys to my Reaper and made off with that too, the bastards. I wonder if I can convince the insurance company it was actually a Ragnarok?"

"Still, since I've got nothing better to do, this balcony ramp could do with a coat of paint... and maybe some nice hanging baskets. I could have a little chicken coop over there and a nice little sheep pen here..."

Epilogue: Sadly, due to his inability to deal with the isolation, the claustrophobia and the generally draughtiness of wandering around in his birthday suit, Welsh Tony went on to biomass himself. Hopefully he will be replaced by an individual more capable of providing sensible feedback (ie. a 'proper' looking at CQ will be forthcoming).

3 comments:

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  2. I laughed so hard I'm crying, oh man, wow. Flabbergasted is the word for me at the moment.

    Poor Welsh Tony.

    (wrond google account on the first comment post, grrrr.)

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Lay it on me.