Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Pimp Your Pod - Sale Now On

Roll up, roll up, have we got an offer for you.

Are you tired of looking at the inside of your pod? Is the morale of your Caldari battleship crew being affected by endless grey bulkheads? Are there health and safety issues with exposed wiring in your Minmatar cruiser? Do the golden alloys of your Amarrian floor-panelling constantly tarnish? Are you having trouble controlling an undisciplined Gallente crew?

What your vessel needs is a makeover.

Here at Freeboot & Green Customisation and Modification, our expert interior design specialists will work with you to come up with a bespoke design that will make you the envy of your corporation. Contact us or come visit our showrooms for more information. See below for our exclusive Capsuleer special design offers.


THE DEUS EX MACHINA

Make crew recruitment a thing of the past with the Deus Ex Machina total conversion. State-of-the-art drone technology is employed to fully automate all ship processes from ammunition loading to cargo management. High-tech robotics and stylish designs are combined to make your vessel a technological dream-boat for you to enjoy alone.

Optional Extras: Robot butler, Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer, 'silver twin' special (male customers only).


THE GOD-POD

Why keep your capsule tucked away in a hidden chamber when you can revel in the adoration of your minions. An elegant dias is the centrepiece of the bridge chamber, whereupon your newly engraved capsule rests. Sweeping Amarrian architecture of the grandest design provides a regal and awe-inspiring setting to motivate your bridge-crew. Innovative use of planck generators and lighting techniques creates a deceptively cavernous space for that cathedral effect.

Optional Extras: Classically trained Amarrian choir, authentic pipe organ, crew incinerators.


THE JAVIX 'SOFT-TOP' DELUXE

Care about your crew and want to spend more time with them? Find one-to-one contact with your elite staff creates that special bond? Or just want the opportunity to hold a gun to their heads? Using ground-breaking capsuleer technology we can install an 'open-pod' system that allows greater interaction with your bridge crew without compromising safety.

Optional Extras: Crew mind-links, 'Podchute' crew escape system, hot-tub/jacuzzi capsule controls.




MINMATIDY PLUS

No longer will you live in fear of losing an eye on an errant support strut, opening an artery on a particularly poorly-edged doorway or tripping on some uninsulated power-cables. The Minmatidy Plus system includes rubber gromits, cable-ties, and an angle-grinder to help make your unfinished ship a safe environment for the whole tribe.

Optional Extras: Limited edition storage chest, passenger insurance waiver pack, first aid kit. Now with coloured duct-tape.


Many more designs are available, suited for both capsuleer and regular captains. Please visit our holo-showrooms or leave a design request in the form below.

4 comments:

  1. LOL! You made my day, these are awesome. Especially the... well now that would just be because you named it after my character. I want one of each.

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  2. Rixx, we can do you the special "Vader View" edition with an automated hat removal device. Thanks for the inspiration from the Pod Captain Debate post.

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  3. What, no colored duct tape thrown in with the Minmatidy??

    An assortment would be many kinds of awesome.

    ReplyDelete

Lay it on me.